Amending Our Fright or Flight Response

We're all born with an impulse to protect ourselves, carried over thousands of years from our early ancestors. When something threatening comes along, our senses are triggered and we either prepare to defend ourselves or if it's too big a threat, we run. That response is in all of us, and when we hear about the appalling things happening in our government these days, this fight or flight response impulse is triggered every day. It feels like we're a world in peril, which is true. What has changed is that it isn't a lion or poisonous snake that we need to defend ourselves from. Instead, it is something far away over which we have very little control. Yet our nervous systems are still buzzing with the danger. And it is there. It is not fun to be always under this threat. And tends to take our attention from other things that are actually beautiful and inspiring. So for a couple weeks, though really busy with responsibilities, I've been collecting the good things. And now I'm going to write about a few of them. This is good for me, reminding me that there is more to life than the dangers.

Experience number one: I have been working on better bonding with my two kitties. They've lived with me since August, and they are about 10 months old now, sisters, incredibly cute and fluffy, Ali and Pippa. It has been a change for me to live with two little creatures that are agile, rambunctious and curious. Nothing is "safe" from them, so I've rearranged my home and my life to accommodate these new housemates. It has been challenging. Finally I began to realize that I needed to start viewing the world through their eyes instead of just mine. Recently I've been imagining myself as a kitty, looking at the world from that four-legged furry viewpoint. And it has made me more patient and also more grateful for their presence in my life. My favorite time with them is each morning, before I get up for the day. I prop pillows up on my bed, turn on the light box, and write in my journal. And the kitties curl around my feet. I still haven't braved letting them sleep with me, so when I open my bedroom door each morning, there they are waiting for me. They follow me to the bathroom, where we all do our own bathroom business and I smile at our first mutual activity. 

Sometimes when I am getting in the shower, I realize that to a kitty, a human body must be really strange! We don't have any fur, just a bit of hair on the top of our heads. Almost our whole body covering is just skin. What kind of animal is that?! And instead of walking on all fours, we stand way up tall on our back legs. That too makes us altogether different from the other animals. And then, where are our tails? Almost all animals have tails. As I think about it, I realize a tail could be very helpful in balancing on these two feet, as well as swiping away flies and mosquitoes. I begin to plan to do research on tails, but then I get too busy. But I realize that in Ali's and Pippa's eyes, humans are pretty weird. And the outcome of looking at the world through their eyes is that I am more understanding, less reactive of harm to "my stuff". They are my housemates. Their world needs its rights too!

Experience number two: More than a week ago in Quaker Meeting, we were all sitting and meditating. And it was clear from the messages that we were really worried. Folks shared about the worrisome things happening in our country, the war that started so precipitously, ICE killing and deporting perfectly honorable people, the great divide happening in the culture, the concern about how to bridge that divide and restore some cooperation and respect between us all. We were all variously traumatized by what is happening in our culture and in the world, and trying to find ways to make it better. Yet so much of it seemed hopeless, the cure elusive. We seem to have become addicted to money and power,  Truth no longer seems to matter. It is as if we're playing a big board game and no one has to follow the rules. You can take what you want, as long as you don't get caught. 

As I was sitting there, actually fighting my own anger at this state of affairs, I was suddenly able to step back a bit. I sensed a warm overlighting Spirit looking at us from a distance. From that long perspective it was clear that we have really lost our way, maybe so much that we may destroy our chances for survival. We have learned a lot in our existence, but we've veered away from a sustainable path and things look pretty bleak for the future. Yet as I sat there on the wooden bench, I felt the warm glow of this Spirit surrounding us and holding us with compassion. Species come and go, extinctions too. In the millions of years of life on this earth, there has never been a perfect species. And though we have made ourselves very powerful over time, we have many faults that are threatening us now. The thing that amazed and warmed me about this warm encompassing glow surrounding us is that we were held by compassion and understanding. No blame. We have tried. We are not really bad. We have just lost our way, at least for awhile. Feeling this compassion, I started smiling, holding myself with kindness and acceptance, as well as everyone else. We do our best.

Experience number three: I like to watch baseball. We seem to be raised to compete, and I always wonder if sports competition is a good thing. One thing about sports, though, is that there are rules. And in the national competitions in sports, those rules have to be followed (unlike our present political administration, in which rules can be totally ignored!). I love baseball partly because it is about teamwork. And even when a player from one side is running bases, there is often a friendly banter with a player on the other team. A team learns to support each other and work together. It is a happy place for a team to be playing well. 

Last week I stumbled upon the World Baseball Classic, and I started watching as teams from different countries played each other. I quickly learned that actually, though there were many teams representing different countries, most of these players live in the US and play with US teams during the baseball season. Yet since most of our ancestors were immigrants, our players have roots in other countries. Some other countries have a lot of baseball played there (Japan, for instance). Others have very little baseball (like Italy). Yet US citizens with roots in Italy were excited to play on a team with that fundamental ancestral connection. When I was watching the Italy vs. United States game, it was clear that the audience and the commentators were amazed at how well Italy was doing. There were many baseball heroes on the US team, but somehow the Italian team was able to pull together and win! That was a huge surprise to everyone. 

Then the next night I watched Italy play Venezuela. Italy was ahead for awhile, but eventually Venezuela pulled ahead. Clearly these teams with roots in the same country had a deep energy and togetherness. And at the end of that strenuous game, Venezuela had won. The next night I watched the final game in the tournament: the United States versus Venezuela. It was assumed that the US would win. After all, we had all these baseball heroes playing on our side, and other teams had only the people with roots in the same countries. It was a high-strung game, teams playing hard. But what I noticed is that there seemed to be something special about the Venezuelan team. They had bonded tightly in this tournament. Those roots in their "home country" pulled them together more than the US team players. And at the end, when Venezuela had triumphed, an interview with one of the winning team's players caught at my heart. He said something like: no one thinks we're important, people ignore our country or try to manipulate it. But we are family! We are together, supporting each other, being proud to be connected. We are strong! And we showed the world that we are something special! Praise God! There is something important here, something we need to pay attention to. 

Experience number four is tonight, the Spring Equinox. We're going to have our usual "Happy Hour" at 5:00 in our common house. But at 6:30, we'll light a bonfire in our fire circle and welcome in the spring with drumming and snacks and song. How can Spring be anything but good!